It harder for us to lie

HOW OUR EMOTIONS CAN MAKE

Text 15

People lie for any number of reasons – to avoid getting into trouble for their actions, to avoid hurting another person’s feelings, to ingratiate themselves with someone the want to impress. Who can lie successfully – and when?

Apparently, most people can lie successfully when they don’t care whether or not their lie is successful. But when the substance of the lie concerns their feelings, their true emotions often leak through and betray the falsehood. We express our emotions through several channels; verbal, visual and vocal. It is relatively easy to control the verbal aspects of our emotional expression, but the nonverbal aspects are likely to trip us up.

The more motivated we are to lie successfully, the less successful we may be, because clues to our deception in the nonverbal channels become more obvious. The more we care about lying successfully, the more emotion we experience – usually some form of fear. We may fear that our lie will be detected, we may be liked and accepted; we may worry about hurting the other person unnecessarily. The more we care the harder we try to control our channels of expression. The visual and vocal channels are especially difficult to control, however, so the heightened motivation allows more clues to leak through these nonverbal channels.

This seemed to describe the difficulty college students had when trying to lie for an experiment conducted by social psychologist Bella de Paulo. With the goal of making a favorable impression, the students expressed opinions on controversial issues to another student. Motivation made all the difference. When the students’ motivation to lie successfully was low (when the other person was the same gender or was unattractive, or when the disagreement was faked), they generally came across as sincere. But when students were highly motivated to lie successfully (when the other person was of the other gender or was highly attractive, or when the disagreement was real), their lies became relatively easy to detect. It was not their words that gave them away. When the other student had only a typed transcript of their remarks he or she was unable to detect the falsehood. But when nonverbal channels were available the students were generally perceived as insincere.

A gender difference appeared unexpectedly among the findings: women were generally less successful liars than men. In fact, the men seemed nearly as sincere when lying as they did when telling the truth. Women’s lies were easier to catch, especially when the lie was shown on a soundless videotape – which presented only nonverbal, visual information.

It’s not clear why women should find it so difficult to lie successfully, but there are two possible explanations. First, women are generally better than men at expressing emotions with their tone of voice, their facial expressions and their body language. They may spontaneously express what they feel more plainly than men do and as a result may be at a loss when trying to disguise their emotions. Second, women may have a stronger motive to gain the approval of others. Our emotions are elicited by our appraisals of events in relation to our motives and values, or underlying concerns, so these concerns direct our emotional experiences to some degree. Accordingly, if women’s underlying concerns are primarily interpersonal, their desire for approval increases their motivation to lie, and to lie successfully – which highlightens their emotion to the point where it can no longer be disguised.

Дата добавления: 2014-12-27