AND SHE CAN
SMILES FROM THE HEART OF A FAMILY MAN
WITHOUT A PATCH FOR THE PARTY TO GO
TEARS FROM YOUR LITTLE SISTER
WHERE THE RAIN CAME THROUGH
WATER IN THE MILK FROM A HOLE IN THE ROOF
LIVING ON FREE FOOD TICKETS
EXT. HARVARD SQUARE - NIGHT
As MARK continues on, he passes a group of people heading in
the opposite direction for a party.
As MARK's steady and determined stride continues, he'll. pass
by all kinds of (seemingly) happy, well-adjusted, socially
The vocals from the Paul Young song come in--
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
CRYING 'CAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE A DRESS
BUT YOU KNOW SHE'LL GET BY
INT. KIRKLAND HOUSE/LOBBY - NIGHT
As the MUSIC CONTINUES and MARK busts into the lobby of his
dorm. He doesn't look at anyone as he heads up the stairs and
INT. MARK'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
A bedroom that's part of a three-bedroom suite. The MUSIC
CONTINUES as MARK walks in, flicks his lap-top on without
looking at it and walks out of frame as we stay on the laptop.
'CAUSE SHE'S LIVING IN THE LOVE OF THE
DADDY'S GONNA BUY YOU A DREAM TO CLING TO
MAMA'S GONNA LOVE YOU JUST AS MUCH AS SHE
Then a moment or two later, a glass with ice gets set down
next to the lap-top. Then a carton of orange juice followed by
a bottle of vodka.
MARK's fingers dance easily on the keyboard---like a Juilliard
pianist warming up.
In the exact time it takes him to pour the vodka and orange
juice over ice, the website he's just called up gets loaded
onto the screen.
This is the only place he's comfortable.
He begins blogging.
Erica Albright'â€¢s a bitch. You think
that's because her family changed their
name from Albrecht or do you think it's
because all B.U, girls are bitches?
He takes a good gulp of his drink. We see the words we're
hearing filling up his computer screen--
MARK (V,O.) (CONT'D)
Folks, for the record, she may look like
a 34D but she's getting all kinds of help
from our friends at Victoria's Secret,
She's a 348, as in barely anything there..
INT. MARX'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
Fresh ice gets dropped in the glass and a new drink poured.
"Love of the Common People" continues.
in back of MARK, sitting on the bed and hitting a bong, is
The truth is she has a nice face. I need
to think of something to help me take my
mind off her. Easy enough, except I need
MARK has moved his mouse to an icon on his desktop labeled
"Kirkland Facebook". He clicks and opens it. A menu of photos
appear. He blogs again.
MARK (V.0.) (CONT'D)
I'm a little intoxicated, I'm not gonna
lie. So what if it's not even 10PM and
it's a Tuesday night? The Kirkland
Facebook is open on my desktop and some
of these people have pretty horrendous
f acebook-pics. Billy Olson's sitting here
and had the idea of putting some of these
girls' faces next to pictures of farm
animals and have people vote on who's
We'll be cutting back here a lot in this sequence, with the
Paul Young song tying them together, as we show---mostly MOS---
preparations under way for the hottest party on campus
We start on a good looking STUDENT fixing his tie in the
bathroom mirror. He walks out of the bathroom and into the
main area where he's immediately tossed a bottle of champagne
by a similarly dressed STUDENT. We see that there are a
couple of dozen other guys around. Our guy takes the champagne
bottle and sticks it on the bar, which is being stocked by two
sexy FEMALE uniformed BARTENDERS.
Our guy walks past P. DJ's table where the DJ is setting up his
incredibly high-end equipment.
Our guy trots down a set of mahogany and red-carpet stairs,
opens a heavy door and looks out to the sidewalk.