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The Police Jokes





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V OVER TO YOU

IV WRITING

Prepare a report on “The Structure of Law-Enforcement Agencies in Ukraine”.

1. Read the information about the FBI Motto – “Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity”. Do you agree that this variant of the motto is the best? What your own variant of the FBI Motto can you suggest?

 

The origins of the FBI's motto may be traced to a brief comment by Inspector W. H. Drane Lester, the editor of the employee magazine, The Investigator, in September 1935:

"F B I"

At last we have a name that lends itself to dignified abbreviation the Federal Bureau of Investigation, which quite naturally becomes "F B I." In the past our nicknames, which the public are so prone to give us, have been many and varied. "Justice Agents", "D. J. Men", "Government Men" are but a few of them, with the Bureau itself incorrectly referred to as "Crime Bureau", "Identification Bureau" and "Crime Prevention Bureau." The latest appellation, and perhaps the one which has become most widespread, is "G-Men', an abbreviation itself for "Government Men."

But "F B I" is the best and one from which we might well choose our motto, for those initials also represent the three things for which the Bureau and its representatives always stand: "Fidelity - Bravery - Integrity."

1) Act out the situations:

A. The sheriff of a small town was also the town's animal Vet. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. A sharp voice shouted: "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."

B. An elementary school class goes on a trip to the police station. The Officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the most wanted fugitives in the USA. Little Boy says pointing to one of the photos " He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?!" Officer says "Yes." Little Boy asks "Why didn't you keep him when you were taking his picture?”.



 

2) Read the anecdote. Describe the driver’s behaviour. Predict the end of the story.

A police officer stops a guy over for speeding (перевищення швидкості).

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI (керування транспортним засобом у нетверезому стані).
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.





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