What These Kids Need Is Discipline

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Jonathan Myers tells Ann McFerran why he has decided to be as strict with his children as his father was with him.

I’m a very old-fashioned and strict parent, like my own father. He wanted me to become a barrister, like him, but I used to say to him that he'd made me secure enough not to worry about having a proper job. He was very disappointed when I said I was going to be a writer, but I think that was out of anxiety: be didn't know how I would survive in the world. As a child 1 was really proud of my father. I have an image of him, 6ft 5in and broad- shouldered, wearing a smart suit and tie and behaving maturely - an image I feel I should live up to. My father had status in other people's eyes. I worry that I didn't give my children that. They don't see me wearing a suit and going out to work or having status: they see me slobbing around at home in shorts and no shoes.

I think children want to feel proud of their parents because it makes them feel secure in a Darwinian sense. The one time that my children knew how to rate my professional life was when I was nominated for an Oscar for my adaptation of The Canterbury Tales - my lucky break. Briefly, I was elevated in their eyes. When I didn't win I felt that I had let them down, which is ridiculous. I had one little сry because I felt I had failed.

I have inherited from my father a strong sense of the importance of doing the right thing. And, like him, I am strict, even though I lack the sort of authority bubble he had around him. In the right context, my children are allowed to be rude to me - they might call me 'fat face' in a jokey way, when I would never have dared.

But I'm also very authoritarian: I believe strongly in proper bedtimes, that chores have to be done and that certain times of the day - when Julie and I have an evening drink - are reserved for adults, which the children are not allowed to interrupt.

Some parents of our children's friends have told Julie that their children are scared of me because I am so strict with my own children. I know I have quite a demonic image in a few families' eyes. But I want to make my children into the sort of children I want them to be.

We live in a terribly liberal age when people feel they should take a back seat in making moral decisions. I don't think that children should make up their own minds — and saying that is about as unfashionable as you can get. But if you don't influence them, they will only be influenced by others.

I don't believe in reasoning with my children. They do what mummy and daddy say. If you say to a child, 'Would you like to go to bed now?' no child in his right mind will agree, and if he does, he needs to be seen by two psychiatrists immediately.

Julie and I don't let our children watch television after 6pm, ever. It's important to think through why a programme is being made. If it's fun, that's fine, but I can't stand all those Saturday morning programmes that are really just to promote the latest pop records and to persuade people to buy accessories. Our children watch it for an hour after school and then it goes off. They never ask to turn it on again.

I think it's a parent's job to preserve childhood as long as possible - which is also terribly unfashionable. We are proud of the fact that Jacob, at 10, still likes cuddly toys.

In our house we never buy toys which are fashionable crazes, such as Furbies. We held out against getting a Nintendo for a year, even though everyone else in Jacob's class had one. But I cracked when he said, ‘I don't understand why, if I'm good and I do all my homework and I do everything right, I don't have a Nintendo and all the bad boys do.' I thought that was a very strong argument. Jacob could not believe it when we got him a Nintendo for his birthday. But we still lay down rules about its limited use, which he has never argued with because that is the atmosphere in the house. I am strict about homework and achievement. Our children will work hard until they finish university, and I think they will thank me for the rest of.their lives. If they do drop out, at least they will have made a conscious choice. At the moment the older two are doing well at school and sometimes I try to raise the amount of homework they are given. Jacob protests because I make him take it into school, which makes him look clever. He is already at the top of his form - and that in itself is very difficult for him.

I don't watch football, so nor does Jacob. That is also hard for him. Last year he had a tough time at school in terms of low-intensity bullying. Had he been interested in football, he would have had a lingua franca with the others in his year. I was not prepared to change, however. I don't like the attitudes in football.

2) Tanslate the following: вести себя как зрелый человек, быть достойным, болтаться без дела, счастливый случай, возвыситься в чьих-то глазах, подвести кого-либо, авторитарный, либеральный, устраниться, занять позицию наблюдателя, принимать решение, рассуждение, в своем уме. cохранить, мягкие игрушки, модная лихорадка, уступить, определять правила, сознательный выбор, «дедовщина», настрой/ позиция.

3) Explain the idea in your own words:

1) He’d made me secure enough not to worry about having a proper job.

2) I have an image of him wearing a smart suit and tie and behaving maturely - an image I feel I should live up to.

3) I was elevated in their eyes.

4) I believe strongly in proper bedtimes.

5) We live in a terribly liberal age when people feel they should take a back seat in making moral decisions.

6) I think it's a parent's job to preserve childhood as long as possible.

7) If they do drop out, at least they will have made a conscious choice.

8) Last year he had a tough time at school in terms of low-intensity bullying.

4) True or false?

1) Jonathan Myers’ father was proud when Jonathan told him that he was going to become a writer.

2) The author likes slobbing around at home in shorts and no shoes.

3) When the author didn’t win an Oscar, he let his children down.

4) Jonathan’s children are allowed to be rude to him.

5) Some children are scared of the author because he’s got quite a demonic image.

6) The author doesn’t believe that children should make up their minds.

7) Television is forbidden for Jonathan’s children.

8) Jacob’s parents bought him Nintendo after he’d thrown a temper tantrum.

9) Jacob was bullied at school.

10) The author doesn’t like advertising in football.

5) Discuss the questions:

1) What kind of image does the author have of his father? Why does he think he should live up to it?

2) Why do the children want to be proud of their parents? Do you agree with author’s opinion?

3) Is the author authoritarian or liberal? Prove the point.

4) Is it really a true parent’s job to preserve childhood as long as possible? What do you think a parent’s job should consist of?

5) Should boys at 10 like cuddly toys, to your mind? Or it’s a bit over-the-top?

6) Do you support the opinion expressed in the title? Why? Why not?

7) What rules would you lay down for your own children? Make a list. Discuss with your neighbor.

8) Were you spoiled as a child? What does 'spoiling' a child mean to you?

9) How many of the following things do you consider 'spoiling a child'?

· Giving a five-year-old pocket money.

· Taking a four-year-old child to Florida to see Disneyworld.

· Giving a child sweets every day.

· Letting a seven-year-old child stay up till 11 at night.

· Buying a child expensive toys.

· Sending a child to a private school.

· Buying a child the latest clothes.

· Letting a child watch as much television as he or she wants.

What other things do you consider spoil children?

Дата добавления: 2014-12-29