Love and Help Children

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Parent – Child Interaction

Sociologists believe parent-child conflicts cannot be avoided in a society that is undergoing rapid changes. In our society youngsters are at odds with their parents on a wide range of issues, from how late they can stay up to whom they should marry. This “generation gap” was especially wide during the 1960s, when college students lashed out, sometimes violently, at the values of career success and suburban ease of the over-30 generation.

Despite the expectation of conflict between generations, the most striking feature of several recent studies is the high level of agreement between children and their parents. One study showed, for example, that college-age children largely agree with their fathers on such issues as sexual norms, environmental protection, campus unrest, war, and segregation. Young men tend to disagree with their fathers more than young women do. College students who have spent a longer time in school are more likely to disagree with their fathers. Disagreement also is more likely between working-class fathers and their college-age offspring. Fathers with advanced degrees or conservative views tend to disagree with their children on political and moral issues. Overall, however, agreement is much more common than disagreement.

Bowerman and Bahr surveyed 18,664 adolescents to get a better understanding of these surprising results. They found that adolescents who are raised in families in which parents have equal influence tend to adopt their parents’ values, ideas, and opinions. This does not occur in families in which power is vested mainly in one parent, especially if that parent is the mother.

Today’s children will become tomorrow’s civilization. Bringing a child into the world today is a little bit dropping one into a tiger’s cage. Children can’t handle their environment and they have no real resources. They need love and help to make it.

It is a delicate problem to discuss. There are almost as many theories on how to raise a child or not raise him as there are parents. Some try to raise children the way they were themselves raised, others attempt to exact opposite, many hold to an idea that children should just be let grow on their own. None of these guarantee success.

A child is a little bit like a blank slate. If you write the wrong things on it, it will say the wrong things. But, unlike a slate, a child can begin to do the writing; the child tends to write what has been written already. The problem is complicated by the fact that while most children are capable of great decency, a few are born insane and today, some are even born as drug addicts but such cases are an unusual few.

It does no good just to try to “buy” the child with an overwhelm of toys and possessions or to smother and protect the child: the result can be pretty awful.

One has to make up his mind what he is trying to get the child to become. This is modified by several things: a) what the child basically can become due to inherent make0up and potential; b) what the child, himself, really wants to become; c) what one wants the child to become; d) the resources available.

Whatever is one’s affection for the child, remember that the child cannot survive well in the long run if he or she does not have his or her feet put on the way to survival. It will be no accident if the child goes wrong: the contemporary society is tailor-made for a child’s failure.

It will help enormously if you obtain a child’s understanding. What does have a workability is simply to try to be the child’s friend. Try to find out what a child’s problem really is and without crushing their own solutions, try to help solve them. Observe them – and this applies even to babies. Listen to what children tell you about their lives.

It will help the child enormously if you obtain understanding of and agreement to this way to happiness and get him or her to follow it.

Дата добавления: 2014-12-29