Nursery Rhyme Lawyer Lyrics

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't get him a dime
But I could

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch themselves a pail of water
They fell down and we sued everyone
Including the hill owner's daughter
If you are a nursery rhyme
And you're in trouble all the time
Wanna put your wife in a pumpkin rhine?
I can give you peace of mind

'Cause my service is one of a kind
I'm the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer

Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet
And then that spider came out to play
We served that arachnid with a restraining order
Now he must be at least two hundred yards away

Blackbirds baked in your pie?
Boy kissed you and made you cry?
Your cow jumpin' into the sky?
Crazy, thinkin' he could fly

Give my services a try
And see what a good boy am I

My ex-husband, that crooked old man, ran off with that floozy gardner, Mistress Mary, and left me with these twenty kids living in a shoe. I didn't have any idea what to do. So, I called up the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer. In just one week, he had found that miserable scum-bag of a man and had him paying child support. Huh! He can keep those cockle shells, I got the money. We live in a boot now, and I have a summer sandle on the lake. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Lawyer!

When your cupboard is bare
I'm gonna be there
Dish ran away with your spoon
I'll get it back soon

If you've lost your sheep
There's no need to weep
Someone's stealin' your tarts
Don't let it break your heart

If your bridge is fallin' down
I'm gonna be around
When the bough breaks
I've got what it takes

You know who I am
I'm the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer

You know, I make my living jumping over candlesticks because I'm very nimble and quick. But, uh, one day I slipped on a puddle of wax and I got burned pretty badly. I called the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer and he was able to get me workman's comp in no time flat. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Laywer!

My little lamb followed me to school one day. Those mean boys and girls just laughed and laughed at him all day long. So I called the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer and we filed defamation of character suits against them and I haven't heard so much as a peep from them since. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Lawyer!
I got pushed off a wall and the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer got me $1.2 million. You know the story. Man, my brains is scrambled...

Listening 9. Listen to the lecture on Remedies for Wrongful or Unfair dismissal and answer the following questions.

1. What are the options for the employee dismissed unfairly?

2. What is reinstatement?

3. What is reengagement?

4. What are the types of monetary awards?

5. What is the maximum discriminatory award?

Hi everyone, how are you? I am Mr. Help from Evideo lesson and today I will tell you about the remedies available to employees in case of wrongful or unfair dismissal. We so far could have listened to topics: types of employment, duties of employee and employer, contract of employment, types of dismissal. So let's start with those who were wrongfully dismissed. Employees who were wrongfully dismissed can bring their claim to the employment tribunal county court and high court depending on the amount to be clamed. If the claim is for less than twenty five thousand pounds employees complain to the employment tribunal or alternatively, they can go to the county court or high court. For those who were very unfairly dismissed damages, reinstatement and reengagement is available. Let's talk about it then. Reinstatement. Courts or tribunals can reinstate employees who were unfairly dismissed. To reinstate means if employee was unfairly dismissed and he wishes to have his work back court then forced the employer to reinstate the employee. Re-engagement is one of the options for an employee who was made redundant. If the redundancy is found to be unfair judges may state that employer must give to the employee the job comparable to what the employees had before. So, we learned about the reinstatement and re-engagement which are injunctions. Now it is time to talk about remedies or money you may have the right as unfairily dismissed. There are three types of awards: the basic, the compensatory and the additional award. The basic awards will vary in the court to age of the claimant. If you are between eighteen and twenty one year old you are entitled to half week’s pay for each year of complete service. If you are between twenty two in forty years old you are entitled to one week's pay for each year of complete service. If you are over forty years old you are entitled to one and a half week’s pay for each year of complete service. To be careful the maximum years of service to be count is twenty years. If you worked for thirty years for a company you will receive only for twenty years of service and not for thirty. Now let's talk about compensatory awards. Compensatory award is the name given to the award which in employment tribunal must make a successful claimant in an unfair dismissal case to compensate him for financial loss suffered as a result of his dismissal. The tribunal will also make a basic award but this is calculated according to a fixed statutory formula according to age and length of service of the claimant and does not vary in relation to loss actually suffered. Compensatory award is made only in cases in which tribunals decide as they often do. The reinstatement and reengagement orders will be inappropriate. The maximum discriminatory award is sixty three thousand five hundred pounds and it is based on the employee’s losses. These awards are always reduced if the employee contributed to his dismissal. Now let's talk about the additional awards. Additional awards may rise if the employer doesn't obey the judge's decision of reinstatement or re-engagement, if employee was dismissed unfairly because of race, sex, disability or any other type of discrimination or the reasons cited for dismissal of the employee is an inadmissible wrong. Wow, that was a very long talk, wasn't it? We talked about remedies available for wrongful and unfair dismissal.

Дата добавления: 2015-01-03