Read these jokes. Define what intonation patterns should be used to convey humour

S

what I call a silver'tip? thVtax'i-dr'iver"said contentedly, b') This is obviously a silver tip; no other metal would have been strong enough for the job. 5. a) You will need a permit in order to visit that place, b) The job has to be done very quickly; it does not permit of any delay.

¹ The mark Ijl indicates a stressed accented syllable In the scandent scale.

fi—182 209

6. a) We entered a very dark room, b) A darkroom is a room for photo­graphic processing. 7. a) Who is going to refund our losses? b) The re­fund did not amount to too much but it was extremely welcome. 8.

a) This is all the spending money you'll get from me for this month.

b) Spending money is easy, making it may prove more of a problem.

2. Read this text äs a radio commentator: I).Add extra loudness to your voice.
2) Watch the tempo of speech. 3) Articulate clearly and distinctly.

A World Without Wars, Without Weapons is the Ideal of Socialism

The international policy of the CPSU proceeds from the humane nature of socialist society, which is free from exploitation and oppres­sion and has no classes or social groups with an interest in unleashing war. It is inseparably linked with the basic, strategic tasks of the Party within -the country and expresses the common aspiration of the Soviet people to engage In constructive work and to live in peace with all the peoples.

The main goals and directions of the international policy of the CPSU:

— Provision of auspicious external conditions for refinement of
socialist society and for advance to communism in the USSR; removal
of the threat of world war and achievement of universal security and
disarmament;

— Constant development and expansion of cooperation between
the USSR and the fraternal socialist countries and all-round promotion
of consolidation and progress in the world socialist system;

— Development of relations of equality and friendship with
newly-free countries;

— Maintenance and development of relations between the USSR
and capitalist states on a basis of peaceful coexistence and business­
like mutually beneficial cooperation;

— Internationalist solidarity with Communist and revolutiona­
ry-democratic parties, with the international working class movement
and with the national liberation struggle of the peoples.

(From the draft new edition of the CPSU Programme)

3. Read this text as a dictation: observe correct rhythmic groups andsenten
stress.

Cutting off with a Shilling

marry

Sheridan, the famous English playwright, wanted his son Tom to rry a young woman of a large fortune. The youth was in love with

a penniless girl and refused pointblank to obey his father.

Out of patience with his son, Sheridan threatened him: "If you don't

immediately obey me, 1 shall cut you off with a shilling." "When you

really make up your mind' to cut me off with a shilling," said the youth, "you will have to borrow it first, sir,"

Sheridan burst out laughing and dropped the subject altogether.

Asking Too Much

An Englishman was driving along a country road in Ireland and met a man carrying a heavy bag.

"Can I take you into town?" the Englishman asked.

The Irishman said, "Thank you," and got into the car.

In a few minutes the driver saw that the Irishman was sitting with the heavy bag still in his hand.

"Why don't you put your bag down?" he asked.

"Well," answered the Irishman, "you've given me a ride in your car. I can't ask you to carry my bag as well."

# * *

"You say that I am the first model you ever kissed?"

"Yes."

"And how many models have you had before me?"

"Four. An apple, two oranges, and a vase of flowers."

* * *

Soph: But I don't think I deserve ari"absolute zero.

Prof; Neither do I, but it is the lowest mark that I am allowed to give.

* * *

A young writer sent a number of manuscripts to a celebrated news­paper columnist, asking his advice as to the best channel for mar­keting the writings. The manuscripts came back with'this curt note: ■"The one channel I can conscientiously recommend as the greatest outlet for articles of this type is the English Channel,"

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