Зак. № SO

Imagery in Translation

• Correct the stylistic, lexical and grammatical nuances
the translated text.

• Compare the result with the source poem.

• Compare your version with those above and comrai
upon the difference.

Task for translation:

Возьми на память из моих ладоней

* * *

Возьми на память из моих ладоней Немного солнца и немного меда, Как нам велели пчелы Персефоны.

Не отвязать неприкрепленной лодки,

Не услыхать в меха обутой тени,

Не превозмочь в дремучей жизни страха.

Нам остаются только поцелуи, Мохнатые, как маленькие пчелы, Что умирают, вылетев из улья.

Они шуршат в прозрачных дебрях ночи, Их родина — дремучий лес Тайгета, Их пища — время, медуница, мята.

Возьми ж на радость дикий мой подарок —

Невзрачное сухое ожерелье

Из мертвых пчел, мед превративших в солнце.

EXERCISES FOR TRANSLATION

• Study the metric pattern of the poem to find its regula
ties and their expressive function.

• Study the stanza pattern of the poem and its expressi
functions.________________________________________

Практикум по художественному переводу____

• Study the choice of words and their stylistic value.

• Study the syntactic structures of the poem.

• Study the imagery of the poem and stylistic devices used
onvey it.

• Experiment with the form of the text by changing its me-
lineage, stanza form, choice of words and syntax. Consider
result.

• Translate the poem into English word for word and check
result from the functional point of view.

• Verify the metric and rhythmic similarity between the
rce text and your translation.

• Complete the translation, read it aloud and comment on
r work.

SECTION 2: TRANSLATING PROSE

PROSE TRANSLATION TECHNIQUES

The shortest possible definition of literary prose may be the following: prose is the kind of literature not cast in poetical measure or rhythm, hence opposed to verse and poetry.

Yet it would be wrong to place prose in the non-rhythmical class. Prose has the rhythm of its own, based on a different prin­ciple to poetry: it is syntactic and compositional rather than met­rical.

From the point of view of composition, one should mea­sure such features as the structure and distribution of descriptions in a text; the character and comparative length of dialogues; the character and comparative length of account of events; the num­ber of authorial digressions; etc. Even the size and number of paragraphs are rhythmically important. The variety of personal names, the proportion of verbs and nouns, and the number of adjectives also contribute to the complex rhythm of a work of literary prose. A succession of similar sentences may make the text sound monotonous; too many exclamatory sentences may result in affected rather than affective rhythm. Perhaps one of the most perfidious enemies of good prose rhythm is an unnecessary word or wordiness as such. Too many words in a text are per­ceived as a nuisance, produce an effect of incoherence between form and content, and may make the reader weary or irritated.

We can distinguish such types of prose rhythm as epic, lyr­ical, picaresque, philosophical, etc. Each of them may be mea­sured in rhythmical dimensions. More often than not, different

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Практикум по художественному переводу

types of the narrative combine within the same literary work and make its rhythm quite sophisticated.

Thus, epic rhythm manifests itself in extensive descriptions, a large number of characters, a variety of dialogues and mono­logues, a detailed account of events, and substantial authorial di­gressions. The characters are mostly well modelled and varied in types. The action develops unhurriedly, in details, while the plot may be rather simple or, on the contrary, intricate. Overall, such a rhythm may remind us of a symphony with its rises and falls and with a diversity of instruments, from a solo clarion to the com­plete orchestra. Translating a piece of such prose, the translator needs to use the of a techniques conductor in order not to let the orchestra run wild.

The lyrical type of the rhythm appears in the predominance of description and monologues over account of events and dia­logues. Authorial digressions may also occur but have a lighter tone and impressionistic manner. Characters in this type are less resolute and more sensitive than those in an epic composition. We may find a musical parallel to it in a symphonic poem or a fantasy, though sometimes it may sound like the lonely voice of a flute. The subtleties of such rhythm are more important not by themselves but in parallels or contrasts in the general tense and nervous background. To translate prose based on such a rhythm one need be very sensitive to such "trifles" as the order of words or clauses in a sentence, the impressionistic value of words in a description or digression, or the comparative functions of exclam­atory and other emphatic structures in both the source and target languages.

The picaresque type is vivid and dynamic with a lesser role allotted to descriptions. Its characteristic features are brief dia­logues, swift progress of events, and rapid change of places and moods of action. The plot develops fast, sometimes reminding one of a kaleidoscopic pattern. The stylistic devices mostly used in such a narrative are plays on words, irony, antiphrasis, hyper­bole, litotes and the like as effective instruments of satire and

Too

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