By Caroline Graham

A: Ruth has got such good looks!

B: Who? Who is a beauty?

A: Ruth. Rupert should be happy to have such a good-looking wife!

B: I would choose a wife who could be a good cook.

Mother’s Warning

A: Dear girl, you must be more serious about Bert.

B: He is a bore!

A: He is tall, sturdy, and earnest.

B: When we walk, he never talks. He is taciturn.

A: He is a surgeon. He works a lot.

B: Yes! But what does he earn?

At Home

A: Nick, have you seen my beads?

B: Not exactly beads.

A: What do you mean?

B: I’ve seen bits of your beads in the dustbin.

Plans

A: Tom, tomorrow I’ll go to a beautician.

B: What for?

A: To have my nose operated on.

B: Are you joking?

A: No, not at all. And I want this ugly mole removed.

B: Who told you it was so ugly?

A: Nobody. But I know.

B: What will it cost?

A: A big lot.

B: Oh, God!

Losses

A: Clair, where is my teddy bear?

B: And where is my éclair?

A: I ate it.

B: Ate my éclair? How dare you?

A: Just ate it. So, where is my teddy bear?

B: I’ll tell you: I ate it.

On the Phone

A: I haven’t heard from Luke.

B: He’ll be back soon. Now he’s gone on a tour.

A: Where to?

B: Cameroon.

A: Poor Luke. They say it’s a boorish country.

B: Then it suits Luke.

Dislikes

A: I hate dogs and boys.

B: Why so?

A: There are too noisy. And they have a lot in common.

B: What?!

A: They play with toys and upset my pots.

In a Restaurant

A: What will you have?

B: I’m on a diet.

A: Come on, I’ll pay.

B: What did you say?

A: Don’t be shy, I’ll pay.

B: Thanks. Great! Then I’ll have dry wine, a steak, fried potatoes, grapes, ice-cream, and a cake.

A: Okay. Waiter!

Misunderstanding

A: When shall we meet again?

B: I’ve got a fever, and I’m sneezing.

A: Run away! I’ll wait.

B: I’m on a sick leave!

A: Then I’ll come to your place and stay!

B: Hey, don’t be crazy. I’m leaving.

At the Table

A: We tried fried oysters.

B: To fry oysters? Are you kidding?

A: No! We put moist oysters in the oil and added spices. But still the oysters were spoilt.

B: You should have boiled them.

A: Now we know.

Frank Talk

A: Where’ve you been walking around, Simon?

B: In the library.

A: Don’t try to tell lies now. I saw you in the pub down the street. Liar!

B: Right. I’m a liar but you are a spy!

In the Sitting-Room

A: Tony, will you buy a new blouse and a coat for your Rose? I’ve found a lovely shop selling clothes round the corner.

B: No, I’m going to buy trousers.

A: Noble spouses don’t say “No” if they don’t know.

B: Why should I say “Don’t know” if I won’t?

A: One never knows, Tony.

In the Classroom

A: Excuse me for interfering, is there a spare chare?

B: Yes, merely come in and sit here near us. You may be interested in this sphere.

A: No, thanks. I’m sorry. But we need a chair there.

B: Where?

A: Downstairs.

Jazz Chants (диалоги-речитативы в джазовом ритме)

Baby’s sleeping

I said, Sh! Sh! Baby’s sleeping!

I said, Sh! Sh! Baby’s sleeping!

What did you say?

What did you say?

I said, Hush! Hush! Baby’s sleeping!

I said, Hush! Hush! Baby’s sleeping!

What did you say?

What did you say?

I said, Please be quiet, Baby’s sleeping!

I said, Please be quiet, Baby’s sleeping!

What did you say?

What did you say?

I said, Shut up! Shut up! Baby’s sleeping!

I said, Shut up! Shut up! Baby’s sleeping!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Not anymore

Big Mouth John Brown

Who did you see?

I saw John.

John who?

John Brown.

I can’t hear you.

I said John Brown.

I can’t hear you.

I said John Brown.

I can’t hear you.

I said John Brown.

I said John Brown.

John Brown.

John Brown.

What did he say?

Who?

John Brown.

John Brown?

Yes, what did he say?

He didn’t say anything.

Nothing?

Not a word.

I don’t believe it.

I don’t believe it.

Big Mouth John Brown didn’t say a word?

Not a word.

I don’t believe it.

I don’t believe it.

Big Mouth John Brown didn’t say a word?

Big Mouth John Brown didn’t say a word

It’s Got to Be Somewhere

Where is it? Where is it?

Where is it? Where is it?

I can’t find it!

She can’t find it!

It’s got to be here, it’s got to be here!

It has to be here! It must be here!

It’ gone! It’s gone!

It’s gone! It’s gone!

Take it easy! Take it easy!

It has to be here.

It must be here.

It can’t be lost.

It can’t be lost.

It’s got to be here.

It’s got to be here.

Try to remember

Try to remember.

I can’t remember.

Try to remember.

I can’t remember.

Think back!

I can’t think.

Think back!

I can’t think.

Where did you put it?

Where did you put it?

I can’t remember.

I can’t remember.

Oh, here it is, here it is!

Thank heavens!

Thank heavens!

I found it.

She found it!

Here it is! Here it is!

Whew!

Rain

It was raining, raining, raining hard.

It was falling on my head.

It was falling on the stars.

It was falling on the sun.

It was falling on my shoes.

I got soaking wet.

I got soaking wet.

But I stayed outside.

I stayed outside.

The rain was sweet.

The rain was warm.

The rain was soft.

It reminded me of home.

It was raining, raining, raining hard.

It was falling, falling, falling on the stars.

It was raining, raining, raining hard.

It was falling, falling, falling on the stars.

Soft rain

Raining, raining

Sweet rain

Raining, raining

Warm rain

Raining, raining

Sweet soft Raining, raining

Warm rain Raining, raining

Sweet soft Raining, raining

Warm rain Raining, raining

Tall Trees

CHORUS SOLO

Tall trees

Tall trees

Big, tall trees.

Tall trees

Tall trees

Big, tall trees.

Tall trees, tall trees The coast of California

Big, tall trees. is a beautiful sight,

Tall trees, tall trees with the tall trees, tall trees

Big tall trees. big, tall trees.

Tall trees, tall trees The coast of California

Big, tall trees. is a beautiful sight,

Tall trees, tall trees with the tall trees, tall trees

Big tall trees. big, tall trees.

Big trees, tall trees

Big trees, tall trees

Big trees, tall trees

Big, tall trees.

Selfish

This is mine!

That’s yours!

Don’t touch mine!

Get your own!

This is mine!

That’s yours!

This is mine!

That’s yours!

This is mine!

That’s yours!

That’s yours!

That’s yours!

Hey, what are you doing?

What are you doing with that?

That’s mine!

Hey, what are you doing?

What are you doing with that?

That’s his!

Hey, what are you doing?

What are you doing with that?

That’s hers!

What’s mine is mine.

What’s yours is yours.

What’s his is his.

What’s hers is hers.

What’s ours is ours.

What’s theirs is theirs.

Taking Credit

Whose work is this?

It’s mine.

It’s mine.

Are you sure it’s not his?

No, No, it’s mine.

Whose work is this?

This beautiful work?

It’s mine! It’s mine!

It’s mine! It’s mine!

Whose work is this?

This awful work?

It’s his! It’s his!

It’s his! It’s his!

Are you sure it’s not yours?

Of course it’s not mine!

It’s certainly not mine!

Not mine, not mine!

Not yours?

Not mine!

Are you sure?

I’m sure!

It’s his?

It’s his!

Not yours?

Not mine!

What Are You Going to Do at Two?

What are you going to do at two?

What are you going to do?

Where are you going to be at three?

Where are you going to be?

Who are you going to see?

What are you going to say?

How are you going to go?

Where are you going to stay?

What are you going to do?

Who are you going to see?

When are you going to leave?

Where are you going to be?

Meet Me in the Morning

Meet me in the morning. Meet me at noon.

Meet me in September, or the middle of June.

Meet me at midnight. Meet me in the hall.

Meet me in the summer. Meet me in the fall.

Meet me in the evening. Meet me at eight.

I'll meet you anytime you want but please don't be late.

Personal Question

Where were you born?

I'd rather not say.

Where are you from?

I'd rather not say.

How tall are you?

How old are you?

How much do you weigh?

I'd rather not say.

How much rent do you pay?

I'd rather not say.

How much do you make?

I'd rather not say.

Why aren't you married?

I'd rather not say.

Why don't you have children?

I'd rather not say.

Where were you last night?

Why weren't you home?

Did you stay out late?

Did you come home alone?

Did you have a good time?

Did you see a good play?

Did you go to a concert?

I'd rather not say.

Do You Know Mary?

Do you know Mary?

Mary who?

Mary McDonald.

Of course I do.

Do you know her little brother?

Yes, of course I do.

I know her brother,

and her mother

and her father too.

Do you know her older sister?

Yes, of course I do.

I know her older sister, Betty

and her younger sister, Sue.

Do you know her Aunt Esther?

Yes, of course I do.

I know her aunts and her uncles

and her cousins too.

Do you know her husband Bobby?

Yes, of course I do.

I know her husband and his brother

and his father too.

Departure

Have a wonderful trip!

Have a wonderful trip!

Don't forget to call me

when you get back.

Have a wonderful trip!

Have a wonderful trip!

Don't forget to call me

when you get back.

Have a wonderful trip!

Don't worry, I will.

Have a wonderful trip!

Don't worry, I will.

Don't forget to call me.

Don't worry, I won't.

Don't forget to call me.

Don't worry, I won't.

Return

Gee, it's good to see you.

You look wonderful!

So do you!

It's been a long time!

It sure has.

It's been a long time!

It sure has.

I missed you terribly.

Me too!

I'm so glad you're back!

So am I.

Panic on Being Late

What time is it? What time is it?

Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!

What time is it? What time is it?

Please hurry up! We're going to be late!

Oh, I don't have time

to talk to you now.

I'm late, I'm late, I'm terribly late.

Hurry up! Hurry up! What time is it?

Hurry up! Hurry up! What time is it?

Hurry up! What time is it?

Hurry up!

Дата добавления: 2014-12-23