The Smile of a Snake

A Sweet Siamese Student

Surprises in the Post Office

Mns Smith: This parcel smells, Mrs Jones.

M r s\ Jones: Something's written on it.

M r s \ S m i t h: What does it say?

Mrs!Jones:It says: This parcel contains six mice.

MrsiSmith: Pooh!

Mrs Jones: Listen! What' s in this sack?

İM r s Smith: It's making a strange hissing noise.

Sack: {hisses) Sssssssssssss!

Mrs Jones: Mrs Smith! It's a sack of snakes!

Mrs S m i t h: So it is! And what's in this box, Mrs Jones?

Mrs Jones: It's making a buzzing sound.

Box: (buzzes) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Mrs S m i th: These are bees!

Mrs Smith: A parcel of mice! And a sack of snakes! And a box of bees! This is very surprising.

Mrs Jones: It's amazing! This isn't a post office, Mrs Jones. It's a zoo!

3. The Zoology Exam's on Thursday

Ezra: How's things these days, Lizzie?

Lizzie: I'm exhausted. Revising for the zoology exam!

Ezra: You've got bags under your eyes, Lizzie. Take it easy!

Lizzie: It's all very well for you to advise, Ezra, but I'm going crazy. One of those miserable Zeno boys, two houses down, plays his transistor as if he was as far away as Mars!

Ezra: Boys will be boys. These days everyone plays transistors.

Lizzie: But he refuses to close the windows!

Ezra: Then close your ears to the noise, Lizzie. One learns to ignore these things, as if they didn't exist.

Lizzie: Please, Ezra. The exam's on Thursday.

Ezra: And today's Tuesday! That only leaves two days! You'd better get busy, Lizzie!

Sam: That Siamese student seems a nice sort of person.

Stan: Yes. serious, sensible — a bit insecure, perhaps. Eldest of six — the rest still at school.

S a m: I see her sister sometimes. I saw her yesterday.

Stan: Soft skin, silky voice, sleepy eyes, sort of slow, sexy smile.

Sam: Sounds like Siew Sang.

Stan: Yes, That's it — Siew Sang. She's so sweet.

Sam: Waxing ecstatic, Stan? I must say, I strongly disapprove of senior staff taking fancies to innocent students. You're supposed to be embracing serious linguistic research, not soft-skinned students. Most unsuitable. And silly, when you're just starting to make a success of this place...

Stan: For goodness’ sake, Sam. Who says I'm smitten? The kid's sweet but still only 26. I shall be 60 in September!

Exercise VI. Read the rhymes and learn them.

1. Elizabeth, Lizzy, Betsy and Bess,

They all went together to seek a bird's nest,

They found a bird's nest with five eggs in,

They all took one, and left four in.

2. Sneeze on Monday, sneeze for danger,

Sneeze on Tuesday, meet a stranger,

Sneeze on Wednesday, get a letter,

Sneeze on Thursday, something better,

Sneeze on Friday, no more sorrow,

Sneeze on Saturday see your true friend tomorrow.

3. First we skip, skip, skip,

Then we hop, hop, hop,

Then we turn round as fast as we can

And now we stop, stop, stop.

4. "Quack, quack!"

Said seven ducks at dawn

While night dew

Sparkled on the grass...

And in my bed

I settled back

And slept to tunes

Of "Quack, quack, quack!"

5. I saw a ship a-sailing,

A-sailing on the sea,

And, oh? it was all laden

With pretty things for thee.

There were comfits in the cabin,

And apples in the hold,

The sails were made of silk

And the masts were made of gold.

The four-and-twenty sailors

That stood between the decks.

Were four-and-twenty white mice

With chains about their necks.

The captain was a duck,

With a packet on his back,

And when the ship began to move,

The captain said "Quack, quack!"

Exercise VII. Transcribe the proverbs and learn them.

1. One swallow doesn't make a summer.

2. It's a silly goose that comes to a fox's sermon.

3. He who sups with a devil must use a long spoon.

4. Speech is silver, but silence is gold.

5. If its and ans were pots and pans.

6. Silence gives consent.

7. Stolen pleasures are sweetest.

UNIT 20 [s] – [ ʃ ]

Exercise I. Read the following words paying special attention to correct pronunciation.

1. [s]			2. [ʃ]
see	gas	sister	show	splash	assurance
sit	us	necessary	ship	English	insurance
sat	miss	policy	shame	Spanish	machine
said	sense	policeman	shore	Danish	pressure
sum	mouse	ransom	share	moustache	special
stiff	bus	bisquit	shell	slush	partial
song	alas	spinster	sure	swoosh	patience
since	house	basket	sugar	squash	musician
certain	promise	masterpiece			academician

3 [s] – [ʃ]

save — shave sock — shock puss — push

mess — mesh crust — crushed sort — short

sip — ship see — she person — Percian

Exercise II. Read the following sense-groups, mind the rhythm and intonation.

(a) dishes; wash dishes; don't wash dishes; wishes don't wash dishes.

(b) seawards; surer seawards; sail surer seawards; should sail surer seawards; sails should sail surer seawards; short sails should sail surer seawards.

Exercise III. Transcribe and intone the following sentences. Practise reading them in pairs.

[s] (a) 1. An endless fence across an endless fence.

2. A few pens costing a few pence.

3. Sue and Cecily are sisters.

4. Sue is sixteen this summer.

5. Cecily was seventeen last Sunday.

6. Sue sees Cecily asleep with a glass of cyder and a nice sixpence ice by her side.

7. Sue is sowing grass seed.

8. Cecily gets such a surprise when she wakes.

[ʃ] b) 1. Shut up, Sheila!

2. She is a shy fish.

3. Share and share alike.

4. Ship to shore communications.

5. Shirley has just finished washing this sheet in the washing machine.

[s] — [ʃ] (с) 1. She saw a shell-shocked soldier.

2. Short and sweet and the shorter, the sweeter.

3. She speaks English and Danish, Polish and Spanish.

Exercise IV. Read the tongue-twisters and learn them.

1. She sells shells on the seashore,

The shells that she sells are seashore shells I'm sure.

For if she sells seashells on the seashore,

Then I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

2. He sighed, she sighed, they both sighed

side by side down beside the river side.

Exercise V. Read the text.

She speaks slowly, and smokes special, expensive cigarettes. As she steps upstairs, her long skirt sweeps over her silver slippers. She is small and smart and sweet-smelling. Her skin is like snow.

"You have stolen my heart!" I once said stupidly, and she smiled. But when she smiled, she smiled the smile of a snake.

Exercise VI. Read the dialogue, mark the stresses and tunes. Learn it. Act out the dialogue.

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