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The Respective Merits of Frogs and Rabbits
A Lovely Little lion A Proud Parent Early for Lunch Mr Alien: Hello, Lily. You're looking lovely today. Waitress: Hello, Mr Alien. You're early for lunch. It's only eleven o'clock. Mr Alien: When I come later there's usually nothing left. Wa i tr e s s: What would you like? Mr Alien: Leg of lamb, please. Waitress: And would you like a plate of salad? It's lettuce with black olives. Mr Alien: Marvellous! I love olives. Waitress: And would you like a glass of lemonade? Mr Alien: Yes please, Lily. And a slice of melon and some yellow jelly. 2. A Spoilt Little Boy in a Bicycle Shop Paul: What a beautiful bicycle! Uncle Bill: Paul! Be careful! Salesman: Excuse me, sir. This child is too small to ride this bicycle. It's a very difficult bicycle to... Uncle В i 11: Be careful, Paul! Paul: You always tell me to be careful. Don't help me. I won't fall. Salesman: But, sir. This is a very special bicycle. It's... Paul: Don't pull the bicycle, Uncle Bill. I'll do it myself. Uncle В i 11: Be sensible, Paul. This gentleman says it's, a... (Paul falls) P a u 1: It was Uncle Bill's fault. He was holding the bicycle. Mrs Randal: Are" all the children grown up now, Ruth? Mrs R e e d: Oh yes. Laura is the cleverest one. She's a librarian in the public library. Mrs Randal: Very interesting. And what about Rita? Mrs Reed: She's a secretary at the railway station. Mrs Randal: And what about Rosemary? She was always a very pretty child. Mrs Reed: Rosemary is a waitress in a restaurant in Paris. She's married to an electrician. Mrs Randal: And what about Jerry and Roland? Mrs Reed: Jerry drives a lorry. He drives everywhere in Europe. Mrs Randal: Really? Which countries does he drive to? Mrs Reed: France and Austria and Greece and Russia. Mrs Randal: And does Roland drive a lorry too? Mrs Reed: Oh, no. Roland is a pilot. Mrs Randal: Really? Which countries does he fly to? Mrs Reed: Australia and America. Billy: I love wild life in its natural element. Look at all your lovely animals, Lucy. Lots and lots. Lucy: Eleven, actually. Billy: And look! Here's a lovely little lion — a real live black lion asleep on the lawn. Lucy: That's a leopard, actually. Billy: I don't believe it! Leopards are yellow. Look, Lucy, he's laughing! Do animals understand the English language? Lucy: Leave him alone, Billy. He's licking his lips. Billy: Would you like a lettuce leaf, little lion? Lucy: Billy, be careful — Oh Lord! Billy: Let go! Help, Lucy, he's got my leg! Lucy: Actually, that's how I lost my left leg. You wouldn't listen, you silly fool. Well, let's limp over and look at the gorillas. Roger: My rabbit can roar like a rhinoceros. Barry: Rubbish! Rabbits don't roar, Roger. Roger: You're wrong, Barry. My rabbit's an Arabian rabbit. They're very rare. When he's angry he races round and round his rabbit run. And if he's in a real rage he rushes on to the roof and roars. Barry: How horrid! Really, I prefer my frog. I've christened him Fred. Roger: Freddie Frog! How ridiculous! ' Barry: An abbreviation for Frederick. Well, you remember when I rescued him from the river last February? He was crying like a canary. He was drowning. R о g e r: Really, Barry! Frogs don't drown.
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