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Adrian and Caroline were married recently. “Our wedding was a pretty typical one, really. Caroline and I met about three years ago, and we got engaged last summer. We both wanted a traditional wedding. I suppose it’s expensive, and some people say it’s a waste of money, but it is a day to remember all your life. Anyway, we wanted to please our parents, and we both wanted to get married in church. Caroline’s father hired a white Rolls Royce to bring her to the church, we wanted the whole works! You know, top hat, tails, champagne – the full treatment. The men rented their morning suits for the day. Caroline had three bridesmaids – her sister and two of her cousins, and a page. The page was her nephew. He’s only three and he made a lot of noise during the ceremony. I didn’t feel my best that day because my stag party went on until five o’clock in the morning. I do remember the photographs, though. We seemed to be waiting around for ages. Although it was a very sunny Saturday – it was in May – there was a pretty cold wind. The reception was at the Carlton Hotel, it must have cost Caroline’s dad a packet. The speeches went on a bit too long, I think … and of course some of them were a bit vulgar, but I suppose that’s tradition. It took twenty minutes just to read out all the telegrams. I’d been very careful, and I’d parked my car round the corner, but of course they somehow managed to find out where it was. You should have seen what they’d done to it! It was covered with lipstick, and they’d tied cans to the bumper. But anyway, they didn’t find out where we were having our honeymoon. We went to Scotland.”

Stuart and Ann were married in registry office. “Stuart and I met last year. We were both working in Birmingham, although Stuart comes from Leeds and I’m from London. We didn’t want an elaborate wedding and neither of us are particularly religious, so we got married in the registry office. Another thing is that neither of our families are very well off, and it seemed silly to go to all the expense, when you need the money to set up a new home. We just invited our parents and a couple of friends, who were the witnesses. It was all very simple. We didn’t have a reception or anything. We just had a few drinks round at our place. We didn’t even bother with a cake. We didn’t have a honeymoon, because Stuart’s just started his own business and we couldn’t afford the time.”

John: If I ever got married I think I’d have to have some kind of a prenuptial agreement written up.

Interviewer: What do you mean, John?

John: You know, a prenuptial agreement, well, a kind of a marriage contract where both partners would have to stipulate exactly what they were prepared to give up for the other one and how far they were prepared to go …

Interviewer: Laurelie. It seems incredible that you’ve been with Pete for five years.

Laurelie: Сan you believe it?

Interviewer: Yes, I know. Well, I remember you always used to say that you would anything for him, absolutely anything, now do you still think so?

Laurelie: Those were the early days, you always say things like that.

Interviewer: Exactly, but I’m asking you now, five years on, would you do anything for him?

Laurelie: No, not anything obviously, there are things I wouldn’t do, one just the other night, I said “forget it”. Like what? Like what? Give me an example.

Interviewer:

Laurelie: OK right, now let’s think. Now, if um, OK, say he was wanted by the police, would you lie to protect him?

Interviewer:

Laurelie: Ooh, it’d depend on the crime I think. If it was a traffic ticket, probably. But no, ooh. Yes, I probably would actually even if it was a serious one — isn’t that terrible? I just realized that about myself. Yes, I probably would, unless, of course, he did something to me.

Interviewer: Right. OK, well we’ll leave that one. What about career, would you give up your career, if he wanted you to give up your job would you do that?

Laurelie: No, why could he possibly want me to give it up?

Interviewer: Well, I don’t know, say if he was feeling threatened by your success or something like that.

Laurelie: No, absolutely not.

Interviewer: But he might be, what if he really wanted you to give up your career would you?

Laurelie: Of course not. Not for that reason no, because that would break us up eventually because of the resentment, I wouldn’t ask him to give up his career, unless he changed careers and I don’t know, became a hit man or something.

Interviewer: What about if he, say if he found a new religion or something, that he was completely obsessed with and he wanted you to convert to that religion, would you do that for him?

Laurelie: He’s good Catholic boy I somehow can’t see that happening. You mean like some cult or something? That I think would be the beginning of the end. If someone’s obsessive about religion I think that there’s only room for that.

Interviewer: But if you loved him? And that was part of him.

Laurelie: I’d let him go to his god.

Polygamy in Uganda is accepted because it’s part of the culture. My grandfather had 20 wives and they had a very very big compound and everybody lived together, each one of course, having his own house, and our own house. And my father had five wives and all of them, each one of them had their own hut and my father would visit them, would rotate once a week with each lady. And for us children it was a very beautiful place to grow up with because we had lots of other children to play with. If a mother, suppose if a mother falls sick, or if she dies, or if she had to go some place, then automatically the other mothers would take care of the children of the one missing and for us children I think it was an ideal place to grow up in. Interestingly, this Ugandan lady who originally had a Ugandan husband, but is now married to an Italian, says that she has never thought of polygamy as being problematic and that the women don’t think of it as being a bad thing at all. For those of you curious about the sexual part, she said that her father slept with his wives on a weekly basis — one week one wife, and then the next week another wife etc. she also said that it was far better for men to be open about their sexual promiscuity (as it says in the text, the second wife is initially presented as a lover) than westerners who may do everything behind their partner’s back.

Дата добавления: 2015-06-26