The family life-cycle

Social play

Social play is another category of playing which has been studied by psychologists, although, as we have seen, the other kinds of play are also social, at times. Essentially, there are three main kinds of social play: free play, which is worked out by the children themselves as they go along; formal play, which has clearly defined roles and procedures, like skipping games or card games; and creative play, in which children develop a new game together, perhaps involving imaginary characters or entirely new rules.

Early research into children's play tended to focus on children in playgroups, and so was all to do with how children of the same ages played together. But, of course, most social play actually takes place between members of the same family - brothers, sisters, parents and other relatives - so it is generally between people of different ages. Cohen (1987) used a diary method for recording the play of his two young sons within the family, and found that even from a very early age children would initiate different favorite games with different members of the family.

Garvey (1977) found that when pre-school children are left to play with someone of the same age, they often begin a kind of dramatic play, involving familiar scenes and stories. Younger children, for example, often play games about mothers taking care of babies; while older children are more likely to play games which reflect their growing awareness of a wider context, like doctor-nurse games or acting out fairy stories.

We can see, then, that children's play is quite varied, and can take many different forms. Through playing, children develop skills and engage in exercising both their mental and physical muscles in preparation for adult life. What is very striking, though, is how much of children's play is social in character. Even if the child is not actually interacting with other people directly, it is often rehearsing social roles or expressing its social awareness as it interacts with toys. The psychological study of play, like so many other aspects of psychology, shows us just how powerfully we are influenced by other people and our social worlds.

Duvall identified eight different stages of marriage. The first of these is the honeymoon period, in which the married couple is learning to live together, without having children. At this time, they are getting to know each other and setting foundations for later life. Statistically a couple whose honeymoon period lasts for two years or more before children come along are much more likely to stay together in the long term than those who only have a brief interval before starting a family, and that may partly be because they know one another as people much better.

The second period in Duvall's model is the nurturing period, when the oldest child is less than 2 years old and the couple is learning to cope with being new parents. It can be a stressful time for people, not made easier by lack of sleep and anxiety about how the child or children are progressing. So at this time, the couple is likely to need to give one another guite a high level of both practical and emotional support.

The third stage is what Duvall referred to as the authority period, in which the family have pre-school children with the oldest between 2 and 5 years old. Essentially, the parents have to train their pre-schoolers to behave in a socially acceptable way, and not act like tyrannical little monsters! This, 1007 can be a deeply demanding phase for the parents.

Things often ease up a little when the family enters the interpretive period, in which the oldest child is between 5 and 13 years old and at school. (The reason why Duvall categorizes these stages from the age of the oldest child is mainly because this signals the need for the parents to learn new behaviours. They have already learned most of the behaviours they will need for younger children - although each child is different, of course.)

The fifth period in the family life-cycle is the interdependent period, which consists of families with teenagers. At this time it becomes possible for the teenagers to take more of a share in the emotional and physical aspects of the family, and the relationship between parents and child can become a two-way, interdependent one rather than a simple, one-way, dependent one.

Then there is the sixth period, which Duvall refers to as the launching period, as the young adults emerge to become independent in society. Typically, this period involves some degree of support from home - perhaps providing a home for a child who is away at college during term-time, or providing help with furnishings or a regular Sunday lunch for a young adult who is independent and working. This period lasts from the time when the first child leaves, to when the last child leaves home.

The seventh is the empty-nest period, when all of the children have left and the parents are together at home. This can be quite a difficult adjustment for some families, particularly if the children have been the exclusive focus of attention. Some couples, though, find it a pleasant relief, because it means they can simply enjoy one another's company again. They often engage in co-operative activities, such as redecorating, or travelling together.

The final period in the family life-cycle which Duvall described is the retirement period, in which those members of the partnership who were working are now retired. This, too, can be a period of readjustment, particularly if one of the couple has been accustomed to having the house to themselves for most of the day.

We can see, then, that each stage of the family life-cycle involves different adjustments and new forms of learning. Although, inevitably, it does not fit every single family, identifying the different stages in this way has proved to be very useful for marriage guidance counselors and other people who are either trying to help people to adjust to changes in their relationships, or who are trying to do the adjusting themselves.

Дата добавления: 2014-11-29