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Conscience is given by society; consciousness arises in you. Conscience is borrowed, stale, rotten; conscience comes from the past which is no more -- and life has changed completely. Consciousness comes from you. Consciousness is always of the present, it is always fresh. Consciousness will make you integrated -- consciousness is integrity.

The Search, # 4

LIVE EACH EMOTION

· Beloved Osho,

I feel emotionally totally exhausted. Something is ripping me apart, but I can’t figure out what. In the last few days I’ve been through intense spells of hating myself. It feels like an attack, and it looks impossible to love such a creature. On another level I am telling myself to watch, be aware of these emotions, telling myself they are not real. But when I am caught up in them, everything is totally real – it just depends on what level has the upper hand at the time. When I step outside of this inner turmoil I can see this insane person going through her daily routine, acting quite normally.

Is this the way to grow, or am I just plainly cuckoo, schizophrenic, stuck in a circle?

Everybody goes through the circle; it is normal. Only one thing you are doing wrong -- which will make you take longer to get rid of the misery -- and that is: when you feel these negative emotions about yourself, don't try to watch them. It is not yet the ripe time. Simply live them.

It is watching that is giving you the idea of a schizophrenic or split personality -- because on the one hand you have these negative feelings about yourself, and on the other hand you are trying to remind yourself that you are just a watcher and these are just images which will fade away. You are cutting yourself in two.

The first thing I suggest is: don't cut yourself in two.

I would have suggested to you to be watchful, but the time is not ripe, you cannot be. Before you can be totally one with watchfulness, you have to go through the hell of all your negative emotions; otherwise they will be repressed and they will erupt at any moment, at any weak time.

So it is better to get rid of them. But getting rid of them does not mean you have to be watchful. First, forget about watchfulness. Live each emotion that you feel; it is you. Hateful, ugly, unworthy -- whatever it is, you be actually in it. First give them a chance to come up totally into the conscious. Right now, by your effort of watchfulness you are repressing them into the unconscious. And then you get involved in your day-to-day work and you force them back again. That is not the way to get rid of them.

Let them come out -- live them, suffer them. It will be difficult and tedious but immensely rewarding. Once you have lived them, suffered them, accepted them, that this is you, that you have not made yourself in this way so you need not condemn yourself, that this is the way you have found yourself -- once they are lived consciously, without any repression, you will be surprised that they are disappearing on their own. Their force on you is becoming less; their grip on your neck is no longer that tight. And when they are going away, there may be a time when you can start watching.

In the East they have a parable: an elephant passes through a door... the elephant has passed, but his shadow is still inside the door and it looks almost like the elephant. This is the time when the elephant has passed and only the shadow has remained. That you can watch -- because shadows cannot go into the unconscious; shadows don't have any existence. If you are watchful, aware, the shadow will die, disappear. But first let the elephant go.

You are keeping the elephant in. You can hide the elephant inside, but for how long? And you will be carrying the elephant and its weight all the time. In each of your actions it will have some influence. You will do things but there will be anger, you will do things but there will be hatred, you will do things but almost like a zombie -- because that elephant is too heavy.

And you are not responsible for it. In fact, nobody is responsible for it. God used to be responsible, but he is dead; that was his only function. You can call the society responsible, you can call the parents responsible, but that does not help. That may give you a kind of solace, but it is not a solution. Remember, nobody is responsible; this is the way you have found yourself.

And I don't see that there is anything abnormal in it; everybody passes through it more or less. One thing has to be remembered: the bigger the elephant you are carrying within you, the bigger will be the release and freedom. So everything is balance. Your suffering may be great, but your blessing will also be great. So don't be bothered by it. What is wrong in it?

Just live it.

For you, for the time being, the only way is to live it totally, so that the elephant can come out unafraid: "Now I am ready to live; there is no problem to hide." And once everything comes into the conscious mind it disperses, and when only the shadow is there, that is the time to become aware. Right now it will create schizophrenia; then it will create enlightenment.

And never be worried about big problems. All our problems are small. We are small -- how can there be big problems? Secondly, whatever the depth of the problem will be the depth of your freedom, of your benediction when the problem disappears. So you will be perfectly balanced.

But remember not to repress. Your idea of being watchful right now is nothing but repression.

I will tell you one day -- you will ask me one day -- "Now it is the time to start being awake." Just a little patience... and we all can afford it.

The Transmission of the Lamp, # 6, Q 3

ACCEPTANCE

· Can you tell me about acceptance and how to learn to accept, because I feel a part in me that is so stupid. Is there a way to make that part of me more clear to myself?

The first thing is to understand what acceptance means. You say: CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT ACCEPTANCE AND HOW TO LEARN TO ACCEPT, BECAUSE I FEEL A PART IN ME THAT DOESN'T WANT TO ACCEPT. Accept that part also, otherwise you have not understood. A part in you goes on rejecting -- accept that rejecting part also, otherwise you have not understood. Don't try to reject that part, accept it, that is what total acceptance is. You have to accept that also which rejects.

You say you would like to know who that part of you is that is so stupid. The moment you call it stupid you have rejected it. Why do you call it stupid? Who are you to call it stupid? It is your part. Why are you dividing yourself into two? You are a whole. All these tricks that you have learned about division have to be dropped. You have learned to divide yourself into the godly part and the devilish part, the good and the bad, the high and the low. Drop all divisions -- that is what acceptance means. If you have something, you have something -- why call it stupid? Who are you to call it stupid?

No, in the very calling it stupid you have rejected it, you have condemned it. Acceptance means that there is no question of condemnation, whatsoever is the case you accept it -- and suddenly there comes a transformation in your being. Don't call it stupid, don't call it names, don't divide yourself, because this is how the ego exists. It is ego which is saying the other part is stupid. The ego is always intelligent, understanding, great -- and it goes on rejecting. It teaches you to reject the body because the body is material and you are spiritual; it teaches you to reject this and that. All this has been done for centuries; religious people have been doing this continuously and they have not reached anywhere. In fact they have made the whole of humanity schizophrenic; they have divided everybody completely into parts. You have compartments within you: this is good and that is bad, love is good and hate is bad, compassion is good and anger is bad.

When I say accept, I say accept all and drop all these compartments. You become one. Everything is good: anger also has its part to play and hate is also needed. In fact whatsoever you have got, everything is needed -- maybe in a different arrangement, that's all. But nothing is to be denied, rejected; don't call anything stupid in yourself.

And then you ask: IS THERE A WAY TO MAKE THAT PART OF ME MORE CLEAR TO MYSELF? Why? Can't you accept something hidden within you? Can't you accept something dark within you? You are also like day and night; something is in the light, something is in the dark. It has to be so, otherwise you will just be on the surface, you will not have any depth. The depth has to be in darkness. If a tree says: I would like to bring my roots to my knowledge, then the tree will die because roots can exist only in deep darkness, hidden in the earth. There is no need to bring them up. If you bring them up, the tree will be dead. You need a dark part as much as you need a light part.

But religious people have been doing dangerous things: they have taught you that god is light. I tell you that god is both, light and darkness, because a god who is simply light will not be very rich. He will be a tree without roots; he will be only a porch, not the interior of a house; a house needs the porch and it needs the interior also.

A house needs one place hidden completely -- because your deepest part lives there. So understanding doesn't mean that you bring everything into the light; understanding means that you become so understanding that you allow everything to be as it is. Understanding is not an effort to change anything, no. Understanding is the understanding of the whole as it is and through that understanding of things as they are there is transformation, there is revolution, there is mutation -- you change completely. Once you understand that everything has a reason for being there you don't bother to interfere with nature, you start floating with it.

You don't push the river; you simply float with it; that is what Tao is. The whole teaching of Lao Tzu is that there is not a single need to do anything on your part, everything has already been done for you, you simply accept it and float. Let things be as they are. Don't make any effort for any change whatsoever, because the very effort to change brings tension into the mind; the very effort to change brings the future into the mind; the very effort to change is a denial of god because then you say: We are wiser than you, we are trying to improve upon you. There is no need -- just be in a deep let-go and float.

It will be difficult because the ego will say: What are you doing? In this way you will never reach anywhere. But where do you want to reach? You are already there. The ego will say: In this way you will never grow. But what is the point of growing? Every moment is perfect. Where do you want to go and grow, and for what? The ego goes on pushing you into the future, into desire, do this, do that -- it never allows you to rest a little. And the whole of Tao, the attitude, the vision of Tao, is to relax and enjoy and through enjoyment things start settling on their own. If the whole existence goes on living in such a beautiful way why is only man in trouble? Because no dog is trying to become anything else; no rose is trying to become a lotus; no lotus is trying to become anything else -- everything is as it is, content, celebrating. Only man is mad. He wants to become something, he wants to prove something.

Can't you see the celebration that goes on silently all around? You only are not part of it because you can think. Thinking brings the division.

Don't say 'stupid' to any part of you. You are calling god names. Don't condemn, because every condemnation is a condemnation of god. You have come out of the whole, the whole knows better than you; allow the wisdom of the whole to work. Don't you bring your tiny mind in to fight. There is no need to go upstream, you will not reach anywhere, you will simply be tired. Don't fight, allow things. That's what acceptance is -- it is let-go. [….]

Why can't you just be? Try for a few days -- just be. Once you have the taste it will not be difficult. Once a small window of being opens you will laugh about the whole effort you have always been doing. 'Just be' is the message.

Tao: The Three Treasures, Vol 2, # 4

YOU CAN BE ONLY YOURSELF

DWELLING IN ONE'S TRUE ABODE, UNCONCERNED WITH THAT WITHOUT --

THE RIVER FLOWS TRANQUILLY ON AND THE FLOWERS ARE RED.

Look at the river: unconcerned with whatsoever is happening all around, it flows on in deep tranquillity, in deep calmness, undistracted by what is happening on the banks. Undistracted, it moves on. It remains tuned to its own nature, it never goes out of its nature. It remains true to itself. Nothing distracts it, nothing calls it away, away from itself. Whatsoever happens in the world around, the river goes on being a river -- true to itself, it goes on moving. Even if a war is going on, even if bombs are being dropped, whatsoever is happening, good or bad, the river remains true to itself. It goes on moving. Movement is its intrinsic nature. And tranquillity is a shadow when you are true to yourself.

And watch the flowers on the trees... AND THE FLOWERS ARE RED. The trees are also true to themselves. No flower is trying in any way to imitate any other flower. There is no imitation, no competition, no jealousy. The red flower is just red, and tremendously happy in being red. It has never thought about being somebody else. Where has man been missing?

Man misses his true nature because of desire, imitation, jealousy, competition. Man is the only being on earth who is not true to himself, whose river is not in tune with itself; who is always moving somewhere else, who is always looking at somebody else; who is always trying to be somebody else. That's the misery, the calamity. You can be only yourself. There is no other possibility, it simply does not exist. The sooner you understand it the better. You cannot be a Buddha, you cannot be a Jesus, and there is no need. You can be only yourself.

But everybody is trying to be somebody else. Hence we go on, away and away from the original source. The distance is created because of the desire. You see somebody moving in a beautiful car and you want the car. Not that that car is needed -- just a moment before there was no need. Suddenly, seeing somebody else moving in the car, a desire has arisen. If you had not seen the car, the desire would never have arisen. So it is not intrinsic to you, but something from the outside. It is as if the river was moving towards the ocean, and just on the bank the river has seen something and the flow is broken; the river does not want to go to the ocean now. Now, on this bank, she would like to cling to something, possess something. Now the river has moved away from its intrinsic nature. It has fallen from its trueness, authenticity, from its truth.

[….]

Remember one thing: you can be only yourself; there is no other way. All other ways simply lead you away from yourself. Once you realize this the basic understanding has been achieved, and then immediately your river starts flowing. There are no blocks. People come to me and they say that they have so many blocks here and there. All blocks exist because of deep-rooted desires to be something other than you can be. All blocks exist because energy becomes frozen -- because the energy knows only one way to flow, that's its natural flow.

Just think of a rose who has become neurotic and thinks to become a lotus. Now what will happen? There will simply be misery, and in that misery the rose will not be able to become a rose. One thing is certain: the rose cannot become a lotus -- that is absolutely certain. The rose will not be able to become a rose either; that too is almost certain, because now the whole desire will be going far away. The rose will dream of the lotus, and the rose will think of the lotus, and the rose will start condemning itself.

How can you grow if you condemn yourself? The rose will not be able to love itself. How can you grow if you cannot love yourself? The energy will not be flowing. Now there will be blocks. Now the rose will be constantly in trouble. One day there is a headache; another day there is something else. The rose is ill.

Once the rose comes to understand that there is only one possibility, and that is to be a rose, and there is no need to be a lotus, and it is perfectly beautiful to be a rose -- once the rose accepts itself and the condemnation disappears, once the rose loves itself, the grace returns, the dignity comes back. Now there are no blocks, they will melt. The rose will start flowing like a river. The rose will be red, happy, tremendously delighted in whatsoever is naturally available to it.

Roses never go neurotic. They laugh at man. Lotuses never go neurotic. The whole world laughs at man. Man is the only animal who goes neurotic. And the neurosis arises once you try to do something unnatural to yourself; then neurosis arises. Once you have an ideal, you are going to be neurotic.

You are the ideal, you are the destiny.

DWELLING IN ONE'S TRUE ABODE... that means just being oneself, not trying to be anybody else.

... UNCONCERNED WITH THAT WITHOUT --

THE RIVER FLOWS TRANQUILLY ON AND THE FLOWERS ARE RED.

The Search, # 10

THERAPY AND THERAPISTS

· Is taking the role of a therapist dangerous to my own spiritual growth?

Is it possible to help people and still let my own ego dissolve at the same time? I feel that a subtle fight goes on inside me between one part that is clear and another part that wants nothing to do with clarity.

Under your guidance I have learned not to dominate others when I use my capacity to see, but am I still dominating myself?

“The role of a therapist is a very delicate and complex affair.

First, the therapist himself suffers from the same problems that he is trying to help others with. The therapist is only a technician. He can manage to pretend and to deceive himself that he is a master – that is the greatest danger in being a therapist. But just a little understanding and things won't be the same.

First, don't think in terms of helping others. That gives you the idea of being a savior, of being a master – and from the back door the ego enters again. You become important, you are the center of the group, everybody is looking up to you.

Drop the idea of help. Instead of 'help' use the word 'sharing'. You share your insight, whatsoever you have. The participant is not someone who is inferior to you. The therapist and the therapee are both in the same boat; the therapist is just a little more knowledgeable. Be conscious of the fact that your knowledge is borrowed. Never for a moment forget that whatever you know is still not your experience, and this will help the people who are participating in your group.

Man is a very subtle mechanism. It works on both sides: the therapist starts becoming the master, and rather than helping he is destroying something in the participant, because the participant will also learn only the technique. There will not be a loving, sharing friendliness, an atmosphere of trust, but "You know more, I know less... By participating in a few therapy groups I will also know as much as you know."

The participants slowly, slowly start becoming therapists themselves, because there is no degree required – at least in many countries. In a few countries they have started to outlaw all kinds of unaccepted therapies; only a man who has a university qualification in therapeutics, in psychoanalysis, in psychotherapy will be able to help people in therapy groups.

This is going to happen in almost every country of the world, because therapy has become a business, and people who are unqualified are dominating it. They know the technique, because technique they can learn; by participating in a few groups they know all the techniques, then they can make a concoction of their own. But there is no way of controlling....

But remember: the moment you play the role of a helper, the helped is never going to forgive you. You have hurt his pride, you have hurt his ego. That was not your intention... your intention was just to inflate your own ego, but this can happen only if you hurt other people's ego. You cannot inflate your ego without hurting others. Your bigger ego will need more space, and the others have to shrink their space and their personality to exist with you.

From the very beginning an authentic loving person... and I make it an absolutely necessary point that there is nothing more therapeutic than love. Technique can help, but the real miracle happens through love. Love the people who participate in therapy and be one amongst them, with no pretensions of being higher or holier.

Make it clear from the very beginning: "These are the techniques I have learned, and a little bit is my experience. I will give you the techniques, and I will share my experience. But you are not my disciples; you are just friends in need. I have some understanding, not much, but I can share it with you. Perhaps many of you have their own understanding coming from different areas, different directions. They can also share their experience and make the group richer."

In other words, what I am saying is a totally new concept of therapy. The therapist is only a coordinator. He just tries to make the group more silent, serene; he keeps an eye that nothing goes wrong... more of a guardian than a master.

And you have also to make it clear: "I am also learning while I am trying to share my experience. When I am listening to you, it is not only your problems; they are my problems too. And when I am saying something, I am not only saying it, I am listening also."

Emphatically make it clear that you are nobody special. This has to be done in the beginning of the group, and this has to be carried on as the group goes deeper, exploring. You just remain an elder, who has gone a few steps ahead; otherwise you will not be able to help people. They will learn the technique and they will become therapists on their own. And there are enough fools – five billion fools – on the earth; they will find their own followers.

It is a human weakness that when people start looking up to you, you start thinking, "There must be something great in me if people are looking up to me." They are in trouble; they are suffering from human frailties. But you are also human, and to err is absolutely human. Without any condemnation, with great love, help them to open themselves – and this is possible only if you open yourself.

I have come to know a strange fact: strangers tell each other things that they can never say to people they know. In a railway train you meet somebody; you don't know his name, you don't know where he is going, from where he is coming, and people start sharing. I have been traveling for twenty years non-stop in the whole country, watching a strange phenomenon: that people give their secrets to strangers, because the stranger is not going to exploit it. Just the next station comes, and the stranger is gone; perhaps you may never see him again. And he is not concerned to destroy your reputation or anything.

On the contrary, sharing your secrets, your weaknesses, your vulnerabilities makes others more confident and more loving and more trusting in you. Your trust provokes their trust in you, and when they see you are so innocent and so open and available, they start opening up: it is a chain reaction.

But if you become a master... a few idiot therapists from this commune have become masters. They know nothing about their own being, they know nothing about any mystery of existence; all that they know is a certain mind game. That mind game can be of help, if ultimately you are under the guidance of a man who has arrived. A little clarity, a little less confusion a therapy group certainly can create.

But a therapy group is not the end.

It is only the beginning.

It is a preparation for meditation, just as meditation is a preparation for enlightenment.

If you understand things in their simple arithmetic, you will not find it difficult – and you will enjoy the group more, because the group will be able to go deeper with you. You will not be only a teacher in the group; you will be also a learner.

Kahlil Gibran's prophet Al-Mustafa has a beautiful statement. When somebody asks, "Tell us something about learning..." he says, "Because you have asked I will speak. But remember – I am speaking and I am also listening with you."

I am here on the podium and I am also sitting amongst you. I am not in any way special. That brings people close. Any bragging of specialty creates distance, any ego fulfillment destroys the atmosphere of love. And I repeat again: There is no therapy which is greater than love.

Love the people who have become participants in your group. Love them as they are, not as they should be. They have suffered their whole life from all kinds of religious, political, social, theological, philosophical leaders who would love them if they follow, who would love them if they become just images according to their idea. They will love you only when they have killed you completely, demolished you and put you together according to their idea.

All the religions have done that to humanity.

Nobody is left undamaged.

And these people have been thinking that they are helping, consciously. They were giving you ideals, ideologies, principles, commandments with the certain fixed attitude that they want to help you; otherwise you will go astray. They cannot trust your freedom and they cannot respect your dignity; they have reduced you so badly – and nobody even objects.

The therapist is not the person who is going to cure people's psychological troubles. He can only create a loving atmosphere, in which they can open up their repressed, unconscious imaginations, repressions, hallucinations, desires, without any fear that they will be laughed at, with absolute certainty that all will feel compassion and love for them. The whole group should function as a therapeutic situation.

The therapist is only a coordinator. He brings psychologically sick or disturbed people together, and just watches that nothing goes wrong. And if he can support them with some idea, some insight, some observation, he should always make it clear that "This is only my knowledge, not my experience" – unless you have the experience.

If you are sincere and truthful and honest and authentic, you will never fall into the trap of becoming a master, a savior – which is very simple to fall in. The moment you become a master and a savior... and you are not – you are not even helping those people, you are simply exploiting those people, their weaknesses, their troubles.

Bring love, openness, sincerity.... Before they start opening the doors of their heart – they are keeping them tightly closed so that nobody knows their problems – the first function of the psychotherapist is to open his heart and let them know that he is also as human as they are. He suffers from the same weaknesses, the same lust, the same desire for power, the same desire for money. He suffers from anguish and anxiety, suffers from the fear of death.

Open your heart totally.

That will help others to trust you – that you are not a pretender. The days of saviors and prophets and messengers and tirthankaras and avataras are completely gone. None of them will be acceptable today. And this time, if any of them reappears, people are not even going to stone him to death. People are just going to make fun of him. People are simply going to tell him, "You are stupid. The very idea that you can save the whole humanity is mad. First save yourself, and we will see your light and we will see your grandeur and we will see your splendor."

And trust comes on its own accord.

It is not to be asked.

It comes just like a fresh breeze from the mountains, a tidal wave from the oceans. You have to do nothing for it. You have just to be available at the right time, in the right place.

Nobody can save you except yourself.

I say unto you: be a savior unto yourself.

Дата добавления: 2014-12-23